Why Should We Cultivate More Wholesome Karmic Connections?

Stealing—almost everyone commits it. Taking what has not been given is stealing, but most people don't understand this. I myself have committed it, and knowingly at that. In the past, I liked to give away surplus things to others; I had the habit of giving (dāna), and I hoped my family members could also practice generosity and cultivate merit, letting go of their stinginess. I cannot control others, only my mother. But she is a bit miserly and wouldn't listen to me—she had too many things she never used, yet she still refused to give them away. Having no other choice, I secretly took things she seldom used and gave them away. Then every time she couldn't find something, she would say I had stolen it and given it away. In fact, secretly taking things from one's own family members also has karmic retribution. What will the future retribution be? Giving things away brings a thousandfold merit—who receives it?

If the merit were mine alone, I would receive not just a thousandfold but ten-thousandfold. But the things were not mine, so how could I receive the merit? The act of giving was something I initiated, so of course I receive merit. Different roles bring different amounts of merit, and different intentions also bring different amounts of merit. But the things belonged to my mother, so she should also receive merit; yet without the mind of giving, her merit is limited. Moreover, it was because of me that she received merit—without me, she would not have received it. When I receive my merit in the future, I will need to give back a portion; I only receive the merit of the portion that came from my own intention.

When family members owe debts to one another, by this karmic connection they will still be together in future lives—and even if it is to repay debts, that is still good, for there is at least the opportunity to liberate them. Between family members, the accounts are inherently a muddled ledger that no one can calculate clearly. Because of these debtor-creditor relationships, they become entangled with each other life after life: wholesome connections bring happiness, unwholesome connections bring suffering. Form many wholesome connections with all people, and in future lives there will be happiness and no suffering.