Why Should We Form More Good Affinities?

Theft — almost everyone commits it. Taking what has not been given is theft, and ordinary people don't understand this. I have committed it myself, and moreover knowingly and deliberately. In the past, I liked to give away surplus things to others; I had the habit of giving (dāna), and I also hoped my family members could practice generosity and cultivate merit, letting go of their stinginess. I cannot control others; the only one I could manage was my mother, but she was somewhat miserly and wouldn't listen to me — she had too many things that were of no use, yet she still wouldn't give them away. Having no other choice, I secretly took things she rarely used and gave them away to others. Then every time she couldn't find something, she would say I had stolen it and given it away. In fact, secretly taking things from one's own family members also carries karmic retribution. What will the future retribution be? Giving things away brings a thousandfold merit — who receives it?

If I were the one receiving the merit, then it would be far more than a thousandfold or ten-thousandfold. But the things were not mine, so how could I receive merit? The act of giving was something I initiated, so of course I receive merit. Depending on one's role, the amount of merit received differs; depending on one's intention, the amount of merit received also differs. But the things belonged to my mother, so she should also receive merit; however, without the mind of giving, her merit is limited, and because of me she received merit — without me she could not have received it. In the future, when I receive this merit, I will need to give back a portion of it; I only receive the portion of merit corresponding to my own intention.

When we owe debts to our own family members, due to such karmic connections we will still be together in future lives — even if it is to repay debts, that is still good, for after all there is the opportunity to deliver them. Among family members, it has always been a muddled account that no one can calculate clearly. Because of such debtor-creditor relationships, we become entangled with one another life after life: wholesome connections bring happiness, unwholesome connections bring suffering. If one forms many wholesome connections with all people, one will be happy in future lives, without suffering.