Why Is There a Tendency Toward Synchronization

The fundamental change in all dharmas lies in the power of the manas. A common phenomenon often occurs: after becoming friends with someone, the two people do not deliberately imitate each other, yet without realizing it, their tones of voice, gestures, and catchphrases become increasingly similar, and they are often told, "You two are becoming more and more alike." In psychology, this phenomenon is called "behavioral synchrony." If you are with someone you dislike, no matter how long you stay together, this resemblance will never occur; it only appears between two people who like and appreciate each other. The most obvious example is among family members—parents and children resemble each other greatly in living habits, speech and silence, and even in facial features. 

The principle behind this is that when a person takes delight in another, the manas accepts that person. Through long-term contact, their thoughts, words, and actions gradually converge. When the manas inwardly acknowledges and accommodates the other person, upon seeing the other's voice, appearance, and smile, the manas unconsciously learns from them and becomes similar to them.

When the mind transforms, one's appearance can transform; when minds are alike, appearances can also be alike. Practicing Buddhism is itself a process of continually changing one's appearance. If one's appearance has not become more honest, simple, steady, and kind, if it has not become more dignified and approachable than before, then the practice has not taken effect and the mind has not changed. Because when the manas changes, the seeds change, and this can prompt the tathāgatagarbha to change one's outward voice, appearance, and smile. If only the mind consciousness changes while the manas does not, then the tathāgatagarbha cannot bring about changes in one's inner and outer being, because the seeds have not changed.

In bringing about change, first the mind consciousness accords with the other person, and then the mind consciousness influences the manas. When the manas changes, karma changes. Because the manas is the determining consciousness, it can exert a decisive influence over all dharmas, and the tathāgatagarbha complies with the determining consciousness. If the mind consciousness and the manas are not in accord, just observe: in the end, which one does the tathāgatagarbha comply with? Whose decision produces the result? Of course, it still complies with the manas, cooperating with the manas's decision. This shows that the manas is powerful.