Should One Apologize in Person, or Is Repentance in the Heart Sufficient?

When you realize you are wrong and have done something hurtful to others, you must repent and apologize. Apologizing means sincerely expressing your regret and remorse to the other party, aiming to mend their psychological sense of loss, alleviate their discomfort, resolve grievances, dissolve karmic knots, eliminate lingering resentment, and restore harmonious relations. Repentance and apology should have a clear target and recipient. Since you have wronged someone, you must confess your faults face-to-face to that person, repent, and apologize to demonstrate your sincerity. This shows you genuinely recognize your wrongdoing, wish to reform, and make amends to that individual.

If you do not apologize and repent to this person directly but only harbor repentance inwardly, avoiding confronting them, such repentance lacks sincerity. It cannot dispel the resentment in the other person's heart, nor can it mend their psychological sense of loss or improve the relationship between both parties. Since you have recognized that the other person suffered harm and unfair treatment, you must offer them compensation—at the very least, emotional and psychological compensation. You should explain the matter face-to-face to help them find peace of mind. This is the most fundamental form of respect and repentance. If you harbor various emotions and thoughts while the other party remains entirely unaware, the mental faculties of both individuals fail to connect. The knots in their hearts will not be fully untied, and the barrier between them cannot be completely removed. Such repentance remains incomplete and superficial, reflecting a psychological tendency to evade responsibility and avoid confronting one's mistakes.