The Consequences of Feeding the Self

Consider a question: suppose you proudly display yourself in front of a crowd—you either receive people's praise, or you do not receive others' praise, or you do not know others' impressions and attitudes—then what can you gain from this self-display?

Some people lack the ability of self-observation and self-management, cannot discipline themselves, and always rely on others to supervise and regulate them; this is called lacking self-awareness, lacking the power of awareness. Some people, in order to show themselves off, pay no attention to others' impressions and emotional reactions, only caring about displaying themselves; even if they frequently disgust people, they do not care, wholly immersed in self-consolation and self-satisfaction; this is called selfishness.

Why do these phenomena occur? Because sentient beings universally take feeling as the self, and universally grasp at the self, they all attach importance to the feelings of their own minds, craving all kinds of feeling-experiences and unable to extricate themselves; even if they obtain nothing of substance, as long as they feel comfortable and mentally satisfied, that is enough. Feeling is also the nourishment of sentient beings—it is consciousness-food, spiritual nourishment. This kind of spiritual nourishment is not easily satisfied when merit is lacking; only when merit has accumulated sufficiently does one no longer need this consciousness-food, and one gradually comes to value practical benefits and long-term, ultimate benefits.

When sentient beings feel hungry and want to eat, this is material nourishment; when craving material enjoyment, after all one can still obtain the material form of the actual four great seeds—for example, when eating dumplings, there are after all dumplings entering the belly, which is somewhat more substantial; it is only that the time is brief, and afterward one no longer senses the flavor. Bodily contact is also a kind of food, and is also somewhat more substantial, such as massage, moxibustion, and so on. These are all coarse foods, slightly easier to sever; the subtle consciousness-food is very hard to sever, being deep-rooted. Some people can accept and endure being denied material enjoyment, but if they are not given spiritual affirmation and praise, that is unacceptable; when spiritual nourishment is not satisfied, the mind cannot bear it.

Passing the test of consciousness-food also requires merit. Some people, because they are frequently praised and have experienced all kinds of things, are widely experienced and broad-minded, and thus do not care about others' evaluations or whether they are recognized; their sense of psychological satisfaction is not obtained from external people and affairs, nor do they pay attention to external things. This is because they have substance within; they have many internal things with which to satisfy themselves; their spiritual nourishment is abundant. Such people never need to boast of themselves or display themselves before others, and their demeanor is low-key.

Why do some people swell up with a few complimentary words, becoming oblivious of their own limitations? Because their merit is meager, they are deficient, lacking too many things, and they must obtain these things from outside in order to be satisfied, so that their spirit can be consoled. Those who frequently like to ramble on in front of others—reflect a bit: what exactly are you lacking? Hurry and make up for it.

Taking feeling as the self is precisely the view of self (satkāya-dṛṣṭi). Because of this view of self, one likes to pursue feeling-experiences, loves to show off, loves praise, and dislikes criticism. Therefore all afflictions arise from the view of self, without exception. Some people shout all day long about eradicating the view of self, eradicating the view of self—but what exactly has been eradicated? If a person constantly feeds himself with material nourishment and spiritual nourishment, what is the result? The result is being fattened up for slaughter, with birth-and-death continuing without interruption. The arising of food and the arising of consciousness—any arising within the body-and-mind world is the karma of birth-and-death; cultivation is precisely to sever this arising. The arising of the five aggregates of form, feeling, perception, volitional formations, and consciousness are all karma of birth-and-death, among which volitional formations are also deliberation (cetanā). Within consciousness-food there is the arising of deliberation—the deliberation of idle thinking all day long is also the karma of birth-and-death. Contemplating the Buddha-dharma is not the karma of birth-and-death, but deliberation without order or method is of no benefit for liberation from birth-and-death.

Shui Ru: I think that since we are human, everyone has shortcomings. When you show off, you immediately know that you have shown off—it is because merit is insufficient, and you need to gain others' recognition to satisfy yourself. Gradually you will increase merit and reduce showing off. Is that right? "Fear not the arising of thoughts; fear only awareness being late." Ever since I had qi-sensations, it has become easy to discern from someone's words whether the speaker has genuine cultivation, and I also feel aversion to those who repeatedly discuss Buddhist principles, discussing content about self-nature and Buddha-nature. Transformation of body and mind is what matters most; the Buddha-nature needs to be slowly realized by oneself through continuous forward progress.

Assessment: Right, cultivation has a process, but the process must not be allowed to be too long; with someone to remind you and your own awareness, the process will be shortened and the suffering of saṃsāra reduced.