Contemplative Practice on Suffering

Ru Chun: Sat in meditation at 4:55 in the morning: deep breathing. I had intended to do the recollection of the Buddha (buddhānusmṛti) as usual, but today my mind automatically began reciting the Heart Sutra. For an hour and a half there were basically no wandering thoughts; the Heart Sutra repeated itself over and over as if playing automatically. Is this Guanyin Bodhisattva blessing me?

While meditating in the evening, a mosquito disturbed me, and afflictive thoughts and feelings of suffering arose. I asked myself: why did afflictive thoughts and feelings of suffering arise? I analyzed in my mind: the mosquito would sting my flesh and suck my blood, causing itching and pain—such sensations are very uncomfortable and painful. When it stung me, I very much wanted to slap it; if I had slapped it, I would have created unwholesome karma and planted the seed of suffering; if I failed to slap it, I feared being bitten, which was also suffering. One tiny mosquito brought so much affliction and suffering. In ordinary life there is even more suffering—clothing, food, shelter, and travel are all suffering in every way. Take eating, for example: first, cooking the meal itself is hard work—cold water in winter, scorching heat in summer, all kinds of feelings of suffering; washing, cutting, stir-frying, all sorts of troubles. Then, to chew and digest the food, all kinds of switches must be activated, working for a long while and consuming quite a bit of energy. When encountering delicious food, one eats and still wants more—suffering from overeating; when the food tastes bad, one suffers; when hungry, one suffers. In short, suffering is everywhere.

Then where does suffering come from and where does it go? Suffering is a feeling, arising from the five aggregates (pañca-skandha) body. The five aggregates body can feel suffering and can also collect suffering, and we take the five aggregates body to be the self. Putting it all together: suffering = feeling = the five aggregates body = self. Conversely, without a self there is no feeling, no five aggregates body, and no suffering. Suffering comes from the self and goes to no-self.

Assessment: Only by knowing suffering can one cease craving (samudaya), yearn for cessation, and cultivate the path (nirodhābhiprāya-mārga-bhāvanā). Without knowing suffering, one does not want to cultivate the path, and the resolve for the Path is not strong either. After compassion grows stronger, one first thinks of the suffering of sentient beings, and only then of one's own suffering. When one's mind is narrow, one only thinks that killing the mosquito means creating unwholesome karma and suffering oneself, without considering that the mosquito's death would also involve feelings of suffering. In practicing the bodhisattva path, one should think of sentient beings first and oneself second, and not always revolve one's thoughts around oneself. Why is it that most people, when encountering matters, think first of their own interests, or can only think of their own gains and losses without any consideration for the other party? Because most people are people of narrow mind and low energy, of meager merit (alpa-puṇya), lacking the spare mental capacity and ability to care for others, to the point that their hearts, lungs, eyes, and minds are filled entirely with themselves. Such people, because of their meager merit, can hardly see the Path in the Great Vehicle; their qualifications as bodhisattvas are insufficient—how could they become true bodhisattvas?