Claim, Repay, and Confess Sins in a Dream

Ru Chun: In the evening, I dreamed of picking up a piece of snake meat from the ground. Knowing in my heart that it was something I had consumed in the past, my heart filled with shame and unease, I immediately repented. The next night, I dreamed again of snake beings, a mother and child. The specific details are forgotten, but I recall being in a half-awake, half-asleep state, sincerely acknowledging my wrongs, repenting, and dedicating merits to them. Only after a long time did my mind settle somewhat. After this dream, my meditative concentration deteriorated severely, my mind became extremely dull, and I constantly felt sleepy. While sitting in meditation, I was mostly drowsy. I understood that this was the manifestation of my karmic obstacles; it was time to receive retribution. I repented for the profound ignorance since beginningless kalpas, my greed and attachment to worldly affairs, my extensive engagement in inverted actions, and creating boundless negative karma. Now receiving retribution is indeed what I deserve.

I also recalled the master’s guidance from the last time karmic obstacles arose: "Focus your efforts on the mind. If the mind does not change, the karma will not cease." When the master said this last time, I did not understand and did not know what to do. This time, I seem to grasp it a little: it means changing the mind’s nature and habits of inversion and affliction into the mind’s nature and habits of wisdom, liberation, and purity. Contemplate the impermanence, suffering, and harmfulness of the worldly phenomena we cling to, and their corresponding five aggregates’ nature of suffering, emptiness, impermanence, and non-self. Therefore, I paid more attention to the details of daily life, striving to keep both mind and conduct as pure as possible, in accordance with the path.
After several days of effort, my mind is no longer so dull, and my meditative concentration has largely returned to normal. The karmic obstacles are mostly eliminated. A few days before the dream about karmic obstacles, I had another dream: I saw the sky was overcast and about to rain. Just as I was preparing to open an umbrella, I saw the master walking towards me, holding a large umbrella for me. That umbrella was several times larger than usual, seeming to block half the sky.

Summary: This time, the karmic obstacles came quickly and left quickly. Moreover, I clearly understood the cause of the obstacles, making the purification process more targeted. Crucially, it was much milder. Previously, when they came, it was like a tornado—overwhelming, difficult to purify, taking a long time, and each instance was very arduous. Is this a sign that my karmic obstacles are starting to diminish? Or did I use the right method? Besides repentance and dedication of merits, this purification process included more cultivation of the mind. Does a stronger resolve for the path lead to faster purification of karma? The terrifying aspect of karmic obstacles is that they can easily knock us back to our original state before any spiritual progress, undoing the little cultivation we have painstakingly achieved. The invisible protective power of the master, Bodhisattvas, and Dharma protectors strengthens significantly as one’s resolve for the path deepens. I often feel a sense of compassion. The master holding an umbrella in the dream might symbolize shielding me from karmic obstacles.

Commentary: Your dream indicates that your karmic obstacles stem from consuming snake meat and are related to snakes. Your family members also created negative karma related to snakes in past lives. Snakes are sentient beings harboring deep resentment; they do not forgive anyone who harms them or their families. Harming one snake brings retribution upon the entire family; harming one snake means the whole snake family seeks revenge. I have a junior Dharma brother whose family is in Jilin. Their entire family was besieged and tormented by a group of snakes from childhood as retribution. After she renounced the household life, she often dreamed of snakes coiling around her neck, almost suffocating her. This junior Dharma brother has a stubborn temper and refuses to yield. In her dream, she told the snake, "Just strangle me to death, then I won’t have to suffer anymore." But the snake only tormented her without killing her. Therefore, one must not eat the flesh of sentient beings nor harm them. Respecting sentient beings is respecting oneself; harming sentient beings is harming oneself. Many people do not understand how to respect others, often speaking harshly, and are never reverent towards the Triple Gem. When negative retribution comes, the suffering is boundless and hard to endure. When creating negative karma, they are foolishly unaware.
Ru Chun has endured much suffering and is thus able to recognize and understand suffering. Her practice is very diligent, gradually breaking through the barriers of karmic obstacles, nearing the dawn of realization. This shows that enduring suffering also has its benefits. Others who are smooth sailing in all aspects have low awareness, prefer enjoyment, lack diligence, and sometimes habitually create negative karma. After death, they can no longer enjoy any happiness—only suffering. Is it better to suffer first and enjoy sweetness later, or to enjoy first and suffer later?

Ru Chun: Yes, Master. This disciple does not wish to continue suffering and wants to be freed from this karmically obstructed body sooner. This disciple feels deeply ashamed for past foolish ignorance, insatiable greed, consuming the flesh and blood of sentient beings without shame or remorse, creating much negative karma, and now receiving retribution in this life. Fortunately, encountering the Triple Gem for salvation, I have returned from my misguided path. To lead us out of samsara, the master transforms his own five aggregates and eighteen elements into Dharma instruments, Dharma sounds, and Dharma meanings. The only thing that remains unchanged is the profound compassion within the master's heart!