The Physical and Mental State of 'Ru Chun' after Seeing the Path (1)

On January 25, 2026, while doing housework, I contemplated the impurity of the physical body (vipaśyanā-caryā), and realized that the physical body is just a large-scale sewage treatment system, recycling and processing the various excretions produced by eating, drinking, and sexual activity. When people in the world fight and scramble against one another, in the final analysis they are really fighting over excrement. People occupy wealth and resources in order to cherish the physical body and serve the five aggregates (pañca-skandha), yet inside that five-aggregate body is nothing but excrement—so isn't that just cherishing the impure and fighting over the impure? When I thought of this, I could not help letting out a long sigh, feeling deeply that sentient beings truly suffer. Then I thought of the compassion and wisdom of the tathāgatagarbha: to satisfy the cravings of the manas, it creates a physical body for the manas to enjoy, and it also takes responsibility for cleaning up and processing all kinds of impurities, working tirelessly without complaint, without a word. When we take refuge in Him, it is precisely to learn this virtue of His. That night, the contemplative practice continued in my dreams, and then I felt the mouth and the area around it become empty.

After the disciple saw the master return, my meditative concentration has been maintained quite well; body and mind have been relatively at ease and stable, with few afflictions, and my contemplative practice has shown fairly obvious progress. Often my whole being is in a state of absorbed, trance-like immersion, with the mind hanging onto the dharma being contemplated; the eyes see forms without discerning specific material sense-objects, and the ears hear sounds without discerning specific sound objects. Often there is a feeling of being forcibly pulled back from another space. Sometimes when listening to someone speak, I feel a wave of afflicted energy pressing over from the other person, my heart shaken into panic and oppression, and I no longer want to reply. Even when I do reply, it is often completely beside the point, or just a perfunctory "mm" or "oh."

Recently there have not been many changes; it is just that I feel I am not only contemplating during the day, but often also contemplating in my dreams, and then I exhale in the dream. Sometimes I feel the phenomenon of the body (sometimes just a part of it) becoming empty; nothing else in particular. My emotions are fairly stable, without any special joy or fluctuation. I feel that my whole being is mild, light, peaceful, and calm, with no great reactions or turbulence toward people or affairs. Yesterday, when I recalled those words spoken by the Bodhisattva, I felt the Bodhisattva's loving kindness; my heart felt warm and my nose stung a little—somewhat happy and yet somewhat aggrieved, like a child who has wandered and suffered outside for many years finally finding the way home.

Tonight while sitting in meditation, I felt my whole body tingling, numb, and swollen, as if electric current were running through my entire body, with a slight stinging sensation, as if my whole body were enveloped in a strong electric current. I felt as if another self were standing outside the body, very clearly seeing streams of golden electric current flowing through my body. Then there was great pressure at the eardrums, and somehow it seemed as if everything around me was suddenly blocked out.