Ruben's Contemplative Practice Log: These past two days I have been sitting in meditation observing the breath at the nostrils, focusing mainly on cultivating meditative concentration and training my legs. There have been no special states. My right leg is a bit softer than before; each sitting I do full lotus for about half an hour and then switch to half lotus, or do half lotus for 50 minutes and then switch to the other leg. It is no longer especially painful, and even an hour no longer feels very long.
After getting up from the cushion, I go out and move about during the day, constantly maintaining the mental engagement of an outsider, to observe how this body actually moves and acts. With a mind free of language, thought, and inference, I watch, listen, and know—myself and others opening their mouths to speak, chewing and eating, smiling with bared teeth, moving their eyes, or raising a hand and lifting a leg as they walk past.
One must absolutely not analyze by saying in the mind, "This is the function of the manas, this is the function of the mind consciousness, this is the function of the ear consciousness, this is the function of the body consciousness," and so on. Rather, adopt the mindset of an outsider: do not help or participate, do not help analyze. Only in this way can that detached "mind-eye" outside the body arise, watching from the side the process of change in body and mind. The mind consciousness operates very subtly within this; only through personal experience can one understand it.
Sometimes, at a certain moment, I will turn back and introspect: what is this mind that discerns like? How exactly do body and mind operate in correspondence with each other? I simply hold this questioning doubt, and absolutely do not think or reason. Moreover, I feel that as soon as thinking and reasoning are added, the desire and strength to continue the experiential investigation disappear. I increasingly feel that my power of meditative concentration is still quite lacking. Sometimes when I talk with people too much, I easily lose the power of vigilant awareness; my habitual tendencies are not easy to control, and I often need to return to the breath to settle and abide. I feel more and more the importance of cultivating meditative concentration, and I sense the difference between experience and knowledge.
Assessment: During contemplative practice, try to maintain pure knowing; do not deliberately add the subjective thinking and analysis of consciousness, do not engage in conscious subjective thought, and do not bring in any preconceived notions. Settle the mind, let go of the mind. Everything is quietly attended to and managed by the manas—trust the master. Sometimes having a lot of knowledge is also a burden; it can obstruct the manas's own deliberation and observation, making it impossible to see clearly the truth and the facts, and impossible to attain realization. Among the various successful people in society, they are not necessarily those with the most knowledge, but those with deep and subtle thinking and unique insights—people whose manas possesses wisdom, people who do much hands-on practice, not those who indulge in empty fantasies of the mind or empty talk of the mouth. Empty talk often ruins a nation.
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