When One Does Something Wrong, Should One Apologize in Person or Is Repenting in One's Heart Enough?

When you know you have done wrong and have done something to wrong someone, you should repent and apologize. An apology is a sincere expression of your regret and guilt to the other person, in order to make up for their emotional hurt, dispel their displeasure, and at the same time resolve grudges and dissolve knots, removing the lingering resentment in their heart so that the relationship becomes harmonious. Repentance and apology should have a goal and an object, because if you have done something to wrong someone, you must openly acknowledge your fault to that person face to face, repent and apologize, to show your sincerity. This shows that you have truly recognized that you wronged the other person, that you want to correct your mistake, and that you wish to make amends to them.

If you do not apologize and repent to that person face to face, but only repent in your heart, not daring to face them, such repentance lacks sincerity. It cannot remove the lingering resentment in the other person's heart, cannot make up for their emotional hurt, and cannot change the relationship between the two of you. Since the other person has suffered harm and unfair treatment, and since you have recognized this yourself, you should offer them some form of compensation—at the very least, compensation on the emotional and psychological level. Explain the matter clearly face to face so that they can let go of it in their heart; this is the bare minimum of respect and repentance. If all the various thoughts and emotions on your side remain completely unknown to the other person, if the manas of the two of you have not connected, then the knot in the heart will not be fully untied, the estrangement cannot be completely removed, and this repentance is neither thorough nor ultimate—it carries a psychological tendency to evade the problem and not dare to face one's mistakes.