The Phenomenon of Physical and Mental Transformation

Ru Chun: Today I recited the Śūraṅgama Mantra and the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra together. Toward the end, my mental energy was a bit insufficient and my mind would wander, but the blessing power was very evident. During sitting meditation, the qi kept moving upward through the qi meridians; I felt the qi meridians striving to expand outward in the chest and head. My chest, back, head, and chin were all sweating, and there was a rather strong pulsing in the middle of my chin. At times it felt as if my tongue was also trembling slightly. My forehead felt tight, and my whole head felt a high pressure and tightness. In the middle of the sitting, a wave of aspiration arose in my mind: I must spare no effort whatsoever to seek realization of the supreme wondrous Dharma.

Today there was no particular reaction at the base of my thighs; my calves had a comfortable feeling amid the soreness and swelling. Very loud bowel sounds and gurgling water sounds came from the abdominal cavity. Before getting off the cushion, while rocking the hips, loud cracking sounds came from the base of my thighs and the lumbar region of my back. When prostrating to the Buddha before getting off the cushion, my head rested on the mattress for about 30 seconds, and I could hear cracking sounds coming from the nose faculty, the ear faculty, and inside my brain.

On the second day of sitting meditation, the weather was very muggy and hot, and I felt restless and feverish inside, making it hard to calm the mind, so I did not begin sitting until quite late. Upon taking my seat, the sensation of qi was very strong: a stream of qi rushed straight from the dantian to the crown of the head. The crown of my head seemed to bulge upward, feeling swollen, tingling, and a bit itchy. When exhaling, the pressure reaching the crown was even greater, and this sensation became more pronounced. After ten-some minutes, I felt my breathing become light; when exhaling, it seemed a large portion of the qi went directly up to the crown of the head, and very little was exhaled out through the nostrils. The qi flowed smoothly, and gradually, following the rhythm of the breath, waves of pleasant, comfortable sensations came from the crown of the head. There were still strong sounds from the abdominal cavity—bowel sounds, plus something like the sound of the diaphragm sliding and gurgling water, as if the organs in the abdominal cavity were making some kind of adjustment. After getting off the cushion, a detoxification phenomenon occurred: I passed some filthy matter that was sticky, black, and foul-smelling.

Assessment: Because the meditative concentration has deepened, the qi meridians have been activated and have begun to regulate the body, focusing mainly on regulating the head, expelling the dampness in the body through sweat. Once the dampness is expelled, a person will slim down; when the body's qi and blood are abundant and the metabolism improves, the body will also slim down. The qi meridians have passed through the thighs and reached the calves; the legs should now be supple. The current situation is that the whole body has been more or less regulated, and the physical constitution should be quite good. At this point, the transformation of the body is nearing its end; next, observe to what degree the mind has transformed. When both transformations are complete, the Path will be seen.

Ru Chun: During the National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival holidays, I no longer had the former longing and attachment to family reunion. I was basically in a solitary environment throughout the holiday, sharing only a Mid-Autumn dinner with my family. After the meal, my son and daughter took their leave, and my heart no longer brimmed with the sorrow of parting and sense of loss as before; there was no attempt to keep them, only a mild, calm response. If this had been before, the feelings arising from parting on reunion night would have been enough to break my heart to pieces, giving rise to all kinds of painful feelings, and then the desire to change and control others would arise, generating all kinds of afflictions for both self and others. Heavy emotional attachment is precisely craving and clinging to the five aggregates of self and others—craving binds, craving is suffering, craving is affliction; with each portion of craving reduced, self and others gain one more portion of ease.

The sentiment and love we crave are our spiritual needs, belonging to the aggregate of feeling. Whether it is the love between husband and wife, the kindness of mothers and the filial devotion of children, or the deep affection among siblings, all of these change from moment to moment; it is either not getting what one seeks or being separated from what one loves. When such feelings arise in us, these impermanent changes seize hold of our hearts, and we become trapped in all kinds of nets of emotion. When impermanence arrives, the heavier our craving, the more wounds we suffer and the more pain we endure. It is the same with every kind of feeling—family affection, friendship, romantic love. In this way, life after life we bind one another and together plunge into saṃsāra. Therefore, craving emotional love is the cause of suffering, and we should remain vigilant.

This morning during sitting, the sensation of qi was still very good. While reciting the Buddha's name, I observed the flow of breath; there was a faint pleasant comfort throughout the whole body. In the latter half, I suddenly felt some difficulty breathing. After sensing carefully for a while, I realized: it was that the breath could not go up past the nose faculty, because everything above the nose faculty was hollow and empty, with nothing there. So I just breathed up to the nose faculty, and continued that way until getting off the cushion. These past few days my appetite seems to be decreasing; sometimes I feel a little hungry, but when I actually want to eat something, the appetite is gone, and drinking a bit of water makes it fine.

Assessment: Because of frequently contemplating emptiness, results have appeared: the mind has initially resonated with emptiness, and attachment to family affection has been seen through and lightened. The emotional attachment has diminished—this is the inevitable result of diligent practice.