The Phenomenon of Physical and Mental Transformation

Ru Chun: Today I recited the Śūraṅgama Mantra and the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra together. Toward the end, my mental energy was a bit insufficient and my mind would wander, but the blessing power was very evident. During sitting meditation, the qi in the channels kept moving upward; I felt the qi channels striving to expand outward in the chest and head. The front and back of the chest, the head, and the chin were all sweating. There was a rather strong pulsing in the middle of the chin, and at times I felt my tongue trembling slightly. My forehead felt tight, and the whole head felt a high pressure and tightness. In the middle of the sitting, a wave of aspiration arose in my mind: I must spare no effort whatsoever to seek realization of the supreme wondrous Dharma.

Today there was no particular reaction at the base of the thighs; the calves had a sore, swollen feeling mixed with a sense of comfort. Very loud bowel sounds and gurgling water sounds came from the abdominal cavity. Before getting off the cushion, while swaying in meditation, loud cracking sounds came from the base of the thighs and the lumbar spine. When prostrating to the Buddha before ending the sitting, my head rested on the mattress for about 30 seconds, and I could hear cracking sounds coming from the nose faculty, the ear faculty, and inside the brain.

On the second day of sitting meditation, the weather was very muggy and hot, and I felt restless and feverish inside, making it hard to calm the mind; I endured until quite late before starting to sit. Upon sitting, the sensation of qi was very strong—a stream of qi rushed straight from the dantian to the crown of the head. The crown seemed to bulge upward, swollen, tingling, and a bit itchy. When exhaling, the pressure reaching the crown was greater and this sensation became more pronounced. After ten-odd minutes, I felt the breathing become lighter; when exhaling, it seemed a large portion of the qi went directly up to the crown of the head, and very little was exhaled out through the nostrils. The qi flowed smoothly, and gradually, following the rhythm of the breath, waves of pleasant comfort came from the crown of the head. There were still strong sounds from the abdominal cavity—bowel sounds, plus sounds like the diaphragm sliding and flowing water—as if the organs in the abdominal cavity were making some adjustments. After getting off the cushion, detoxification occurred, expelling some filthy matter that was sticky, black, and foul-smelling.

Assessment: Because meditative concentration (samādhi) has deepened, the qi channels have been activated and have begun regulating the body, mainly regulating the head, expelling the dampness in the body through sweat. Once the dampness is expelled, a person will slim down; when the body's qi and blood are abundant and metabolism improves, the body will also slim down. The qi channels have passed through the thighs and reached the calves; the legs should be supple. The current situation is that the whole body has been mostly regulated, and physical condition should be quite good. At this point, the transformation of the body is nearing its end; next, observe to what degree the mind has transformed. When both transformations are complete, the Path will be seen.

Ru Chun: During the National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival holidays, I no longer had the former longing and attachment to family reunion. I was basically in solitude throughout the entire holiday, sharing only a Mid-Autumn dinner with my family. After the meal, my son and daughter took their leave, and my heart no longer brimmed with the sorrow of parting and sense of loss as before; I did not try to make them stay, only responding calmly. If this had been before, the feelings arising from parting on reunion night would have shattered my heart, producing all kinds of suffering, and then I would have had the intention to change and control others, generating all kinds of afflictions for both self and others. Heavy emotional attachment is precisely craving and clinging to the five aggregates of self and others—craving binds, craving brings suffering, craving brings afflictions; with each portion of craving reduced, self and others gain a portion more of ease and freedom.

The sentiment and love we crave are our psychological needs; they belong to the aggregate of feeling. Whether it is the love between husband and wife, the kindness of mothers and the filial devotion of children, or the deep affection among siblings, all are constantly changing. If it is not the suffering of not getting what one seeks, it is the suffering of separation from what one loves. When such feelings arise in us, these impermanent changes grip our hearts, and we become trapped in various webs of emotion. When impermanence arrives, the heavier our craving, the more wounds we suffer and the more pain we endure. Family affection, friendship, romantic love—every kind of feeling is the same. Thus, life after life, we bind one another and together plunge into saṃsāra. Therefore, craving emotional love is the cause of suffering, and we should remain vigilant.

This morning during sitting, the sensation of qi was still very good. While reciting the Buddha's name, I observed the flow of breath; there was a faint sense of pleasant comfort throughout the whole body. In the latter half, I suddenly felt breathing was somewhat difficult. After sensing carefully for a moment, I realized: the breath could not go up beyond the nose faculty, because everything above the nose faculty was hollow and empty, with nothing there. So I just breathed up to the nose faculty, and continued that way until getting off the cushion. These past few days my appetite seems to be decreasing; sometimes I feel a bit hungry, but when I actually want to eat, the appetite is gone, and drinking some water suffices.

Assessment: Because of frequently contemplating emptiness (śūnyatā), results have appeared; the mind has initially resonated with emptiness, and the attachment to family affection has been seen through more lightly—emotional attachment has lessened. This is the inevitable result of diligent practice.