A Dream's Hint: Realizing the Truth of Suffering Is Eradicating the View of Self

Ru Chun: Recently, while reciting the Śūraṅgama Mantra, I have had strong reactions in my head. From deep in my brain and deep in my ear faculty, crisp snapping sounds keep coming, even stronger than during meditation. This afternoon it was even more obvious: after a loud snap, I suddenly felt that my left ear canal and the half of my face connected to the outside instantly became empty, hollow, and this lasted a long while. That qi kept pressing wave after wave from the back of my head toward the crown of my head, nasal cavity, and ear canals, and my whole head swelled like a balloon about to burst. Suddenly a great stirring arose within me, and I thought of how, all these years, I had struggled so desperately for my family, career, children, and relatives, enduring every hardship, only to end up struggling for suffering, emptiness, and impermanence—how foolish I had been. Looking back, how wonderful it is now to be alone in such peace and quiet. After a while, a voice suddenly popped up in my mind: "The you of right now is the original you."

Reflecting on my own foolishness and delusion of these years, I felt I had truly been so silly. At this point, the red light before my eyes became more and more resplendent, and then a patch of golden light opened up within the red light. Within the golden light there was a tall, golden Buddha image, and a voice drifted past my ear: "Welcome back." Just as I was wondering about this, another gentle voice came: "Child, you have finally returned." In this way, in a daze, I sat for two hours.

Assessment: First of all, Ru Chun's meditative concentration is very good; her mind has a certain degree of emptiness, not far from the emptiness realized at seeing the path, or perhaps there is a hint of seeing the path within it, though it was not made clear. Because her meditative concentration is so good, the qi surged through the back of her head and even her entire head, and the Ren and Du meridians are nearly connected. Merit, meditative concentration, plus the transformation of the physical body, along with transformations in every aspect of her mental nature and mental conduct—or what may be called a complete metamorphosis—have lifted you to the very edge of seeing the path, less than one step away, or perhaps you have already arrived but, lacking experience, cannot articulate it clearly.

Ven. Shi Ruyuan and Ru Chun are both excellent in meditative concentration and mental nature; in both of them the qi channels run through the whole body, and the Ren and Du meridians have been opened or nearly opened; their physical bodies have transformed, and both body and mind have undergone a complete metamorphosis. This shows that seeing the path cannot be separated from the movement of the qi channels, and cannot be separated from the transformation of the physical body. Without transformation in the physical body, the consciousness-mind also cannot be ultimately transformed; body and mind complement and support each other, and lacking either one, one cannot see the path. And the transformation of the physical body requires meditative concentration, so without meditative concentration, do not even mention seeing the path—the bones of an ordinary person cannot substitute for a sage's embryo.

Before long, a voice popped up in your mind saying: "The you of right now is the original you." This statement should have a premise, namely the transformation of your mind; only the mind after transformation is the original you. This "original you" could refer to you after Small Vehicle accomplishment, or to you after Great Vehicle accomplishment. This cannot be sorted out or distinguished here. Also, the golden Buddha image said to you: "You have finally returned." This statement also carries deep meaning—is it a return to the Small Vehicle, a return to the Great Vehicle, or a return of the mind? This cannot be distinguished here. Ru Chun needs to describe the events before and after in more careful detail.

Ru Chun: In the middle of the night, during a dream, there was an exhalation phenomenon; after waking I felt very refreshed, so I began to sit in meditation. In samādhi I continued contemplating the suffering, emptiness, and impermanence of the five aggregates, the worldly, and the six contacts. Craving equals suffering; without craving there is freedom from suffering; non-craving and non-grasping is our originally non-suffering, non-afflicted body and mind—that is the true self. Then in a dream it was said that I had realized the truth of suffering, and my whole body suddenly became empty. Feeling quite astonished, I woke briefly, then fell asleep again, still dreaming of the truth of suffering, and began exhaling again; after a while I again felt my body become empty. After waking, my whole chest cavity felt very empty and open; last night it seems I hardly truly slept.

Assessment: This is the state of realizing emptiness, the state of eradicating the view of self (satkāya-dṛṣṭi)—just about there. Let me collect myself and then make the final confirmation; no rush. Non-craving and non-grasping is also not the true self; it is still no-self and emptiness. The true self is one's own unborn and unceasing self-natured pure mind. In the dream you saw yourself realizing the truth of suffering, and your body also became empty—that means you realized the truth of suffering and eradicated the view of self. This is the Small Vehicle's emptiness, perhaps a genuine realization of Small Vehicle emptiness, which is Small Vehicle seeing of the path. As long as one sees the path in the Small Vehicle, the Great Vehicle is not far off, because your merit is sufficient and your mental nature is good enough; if you maintain meditative concentration and continue investigating the Great Vehicle, there is every hope of realizing the tathāgatagarbha. At present, although in the human realm men's wisdom surpasses women's wisdom, in the Dharma-ending age, women feel suffering more keenly and are more diligent, so they see the path even faster than men. When suffering is light, people become lax; better to let you all suffer.

These two or three months I sensed that something was going to happen, and sure enough, it has. May more such things occur—I do not mind having many of them. Crackling and popping, let each one of you return—return to no-self, return to self-nature, return to the original self, return home and sit in stability; then my heart is at ease too, and let us all enjoy freedom and liberation together! Those still endlessly busy with theory, who have not yet set foot on the path of actual practice—are you fools or not? Those still bustling about worldly affairs—are you not hopelessly foolish?

Ru Chun: Thank you, Master, for the encouragement. This disciple will keep working hard. This disciple now basically does not go out, finding going out especially exhausting. I do not like to talk, and even less like to hear sounds; every time I convert voice to text. I am not particular about food or clothing; previously I always poured out the dish-washing water, but now I basically drink it, and my clothes are all cheap goods bought from Pinduoduo. In my heart I like being quietly alone, and I also enjoy contemplating the five aggregates in that quietness.

Assessment: The common characteristics of those who have currently seen the path: great blessings, relatively abundant leisure time, no need to go to work, with all their time devoted exclusively to cultivating the Path, no other affairs, no interest in other matters either, and a deep knowledge of worldly suffering and the emptiness of impermanence. Ru Chun's bodhisattva mental nature is the best; foolish, yes, a bit, but the foolishness was worth it. You and Ven. Shi Ruyuan have each been studying Buddhism for about seven or eight years, which counts as quite fast—more than ten times faster than those who grind away at theory. You and Ven. Shi Ruyuan outdo each other in foolishness—foolish is good; without being foolish, how could you undergo a complete metamorphosis, how could you become empty, how could you become no-self? Those who are clever and sharp are almost all the ones who create evil karma, all fond of hopping and skipping their way toward the three evil destinies—that is true foolishness, foolishness in the most real sense.