Hints in a Dream: Realizing the Truth of Suffering Is the Elimination of Self-View (ahaṃkāra-mamakāra-parityāga)

Ru Chun: Recently, while reciting the Śūraṅgama Mantra, I have had strong reactions in my head. From deep in my brain and deep in my ear faculty, crisp snapping sounds keep coming, even stronger than during meditation. This afternoon it was even more obvious: after a loud snap, I suddenly felt that my left ear canal and the outer half of my face connected to it became empty all at once—hollowed out—and this lasted a long while. The qi kept pressing wave after wave from the back of my head toward the crown of my head, the nasal cavity, and the ear canals, and my whole head swelled like a balloon about to burst. Suddenly a great stirring arose within me, and I thought of how all these years I had strained so desperately for my family, career, children, and relatives, suffering every hardship, only to end up with suffering, emptiness, and impermanence—how foolish I had been. Looking back, how wonderful it is now to be alone in peace and quiet. After a while, a voice suddenly surfaced in my mind: "The you of now is the original you."

Reflecting on my own foolishness and delusion over these years, I felt I had truly been very foolish. Then the red light before my eyes grew more and more brilliant, and within the red light a patch of golden light opened up. Within the golden light there was a tall golden Buddha statue, and a voice drifted past my ear: "Welcome back." Just as I was wondering about this, another gentle voice came: "Child, you have finally returned." In this way, in a daze, I sat for two hours.

Assessment: First of all, Ru Chun's meditative concentration is very good; her mind has a certain degree of emptiness, not far from the emptiness realized at seeing the Path, or perhaps there is a hint of seeing the Path within it—this was not made clear. Because her meditative concentration is so good, the qi channels surged through the back of her head and even her entire head, and the Ren and Du Meridians are nearly connected. Merit, meditative concentration, the transformation of the material body, along with the transformation of her mental disposition and conduct in every respect—or what may be called a complete metamorphosis—have lifted you to the very edge of seeing the Path, not even one step away, or perhaps you have already arrived but, lacking experience, cannot articulate it clearly.

Both Ven. Shi Ruyuan and Ru Chun are excellent in meditative concentration and mental disposition. In both of them the qi channels run through the whole body, and the Ren and Du Meridians have been opened, or nearly opened; their material bodies have transformed, and both body and mind have undergone a complete metamorphosis. This shows that seeing the Path is inseparable from the movement of the qi channels, and inseparable from the transformation of the material body. Without transformation in the material body, the conscious mind also cannot be ultimately transformed; body and mind complement and support each other, and lacking either one, one cannot see the Path. And the transformation of the material body requires meditative concentration. So without meditative concentration, do not even mention seeing the Path—an ordinary person's bones cannot substitute for a sage's embryo.

Before long, a voice surfaced in the mind saying: "The you of now is the original you." This statement should have a further premise, namely the transformation of your mind; only the mind after transformation is the original you. This "original you" could refer to you after attaining the Small Vehicle's accomplishment, or to you after attaining the Great Vehicle's accomplishment. Here it cannot be sorted out or distinguished. Also, the golden Buddha statue said to you: "You have finally returned." This statement is also deeply meaningful—is it a return to the Small Vehicle, a return to the Great Vehicle, or a return of the mind? Here it cannot be distinguished. Ru Chun needs to describe the whole sequence of events more carefully and clearly.

Ru Chun: In the middle of the night, in a dream, the phenomenon of exhaling occurred. After waking I felt very refreshed, so I began to sit in meditation, and within samādhi I continued to contemplate the suffering, emptiness, and impermanence of the five aggregates, the worldly, and the six contacts. Craving is suffering; without craving there is freedom from suffering; without craving and without grasping is our originally unafflicted body and mind free of suffering and distress—that is the true self. Then in a dream it was said that I had realized the truth of suffering, and my whole body suddenly became empty. Feeling quite astonished, I woke briefly, then fell asleep again, still dreaming of the truth of suffering, and began exhaling again; after a while I felt my body become empty once more. After waking, my entire chest cavity felt very empty and open; last night I hardly seemed to truly sleep at all.

Assessment: This is the state of realizing emptiness, the state of eliminating the self-view—just about there. Let me collect myself and then make the final confirmation; no rush. Being without craving and without grasping is also not the true self; it is still no-self and emptiness. The true self is one's own unborn and unceasing self-nature, the pure mind. To see in a dream that you had realized the truth of suffering, and that the body had also become empty—that is realizing the truth of suffering and eliminating the self-view. This is the Small Vehicle's emptiness, perhaps a genuine realization of the Small Vehicle's emptiness, which is Small Vehicle's seeing the Path. As long as one has seen the Path in the Small Vehicle, the Great Vehicle is not far off, because the merit is sufficient, the mental disposition is good enough, and if you maintain meditative concentration and continue investigating the Great Vehicle, there is every hope of realizing the tathāgatagarbha. At present, although among people in this world men's wisdom surpasses women's wisdom, in the Dharma-ending age, women feel suffering more keenly and are more diligent, so they may actually see the Path faster than men. When suffering is light, people grow lax; better to let you all suffer.

These two or three months I had sensed that something was going to happen, and sure enough, it has. Such things can happen more often—I never tire of them. Crackling and popping, let each one return: return to no-self, return to self-nature, return to the original self, come home and sit in peace, and I too am relieved. Let us all enjoy freedom and liberation together! Those still endlessly busy with theory, who have not yet set foot on the path of actual practice—are you fools or not? Those still bustling about worldly affairs—have you become fools beyond remedy?

Ru Chun: Thank you, Master, for your encouragement. Your disciple will keep striving. Your disciple now basically does not go out, feeling that going out is an especially exhausting affair. I do not like to talk, and even less like to hear sounds; every time I convert voice to text. I am not particular about food and clothing. In the past I always poured out the dish-washing water; now I basically drink it. My clothes are all cheap goods bought from Pinduoduo. In my heart I enjoy being alone in quietude, and I also enjoy contemplating the five aggregates in that quietness.

Assessment: The common characteristics of those who have currently seen the Path: great blessings and abundant leisure time, no need to go to work; all their time is devoted exclusively to cultivating the Path, with no other affairs, and they have no interest in anything else, while deeply knowing worldly suffering and the emptiness of impermanence. Ru Chun's bodhisattva disposition is the best. Foolish, yes, a bit foolish—but the foolishness was worth it. You and Ven. Shi Ruyuan have both been studying Buddhism for about seven or eight years, which counts as quite fast—more than ten times faster than those who grind away at theory. You and Ven. Shi Ruyuan outdo each other in foolishness, and foolishness is good. Without being foolish, how could one undergo a complete metamorphosis, how could one become empty and no-self? Those who are clever and quick-witted are almost all the sort who create evil karma, all fond of hopping and skipping their way toward the three evil paths—that is true foolishness, foolishness in the most real sense.