Small kindness and small love can only obstruct the Path

Beings who have left the three evil destinies do so through being born of craving and desire. As for the future-life karmic retribution of craving and attachment, most go to the ghost realm to repay their karmic debts; those with lighter craving can become human or ascend to the heavens. Craving and attachment belong to the nature of water, and water flows downward—downward means the three evil destinies. The Buddha said this in the Śūraṅgama Sūtra; it can be verified in the Buddhist scriptures. Some people vigorously encourage Buddhist practitioners to indulge in craving and attachment between men and women, claiming that it is necessary to form affinities. The affinity is indeed formed, but as for whether it is wholesome or not, according to the Buddha's intention, there is no good outcome—only the cycle of the six destinies, birth, death, suffering, and distress.

There was a man who, not long after he had gone forth as a monk, was entangled by his girlfriend and dragged back to lay life. He then went forth again, only to be entangled and dragged back once more. This repeated seven times, and he was extremely distressed. You want liberation, but she insists on entangling you and not letting you be liberated—she is truly a karmic enemy of birth and death.

When a person longs for tranquility but is entangled relentlessly by someone, that feeling is agonizing and almost unbearable.

Some would say that a bodhisattva should be compassionate toward all sentient beings, and since one's wife and children are also sentient beings, one should certainly be even more compassionate toward them. But compassion must be appropriate and must stop at the proper point. If one shows compassion only to one's own family members and those with whom one has affinities, expending all one's time and energy on just a few people—and if these people's spiritual faculties are not even very good—thereby delaying one's own progress on the Path, then it is not worthwhile.

A bodhisattva's compassion should be directed primarily toward the majority of sentient beings. By concentrating one's energy on cultivation and attaining realization, one will benefit countless family members and those with affinities, and will benefit one's parents, wife, and children across infinite kalpas of successive lives. One should not place one's main energy on one's current wife, child, father, and mother. Compared with great love, small love is insignificant; being held captive by small love hinders one's progress on the Path. A bodhisattva's vision should be far-reaching and vast, and one should vow to let the light of one's own wisdom shine upon all beings throughout the world. A mind of great loving-kindness and great compassion is the true bodhisattva mind; small kindness and small love can only obstruct the Path and should be abandoned as quickly as possible.