There Comes a Time When One Must Settle Karmic Debts

Ruchun: Recently, I wanted to focus on improving my meditative concentration (samādhi), so I reduced contact with many people and affairs. In the earlier period, the effect was quite good—my mind was relatively tranquil, my concentration improved somewhat, I sweated a lot, and my body felt much lighter and more agile. However, over the past half-month, the situation has been terrible. I can't sit for even half an hour before my legs start hurting intensely. During my morning and evening sits, each lasting about an hour, I barely manage by switching legs midway. As you can imagine, the effect is very poor; I haven't even glimpsed a shadow of stable concentration. Delusional thoughts fly wildly, I feel very dull, heavy, drowsy, and my ankles have swollen.

After seeing a doctor, I was told it's due to severe cold-dampness. I tried acupuncture, moxibustion, and medication, but none worked well. Feeling very anxious, I recited the "Sutra of Kṣitigarbha" (Dizang Jing) and the "Dhāraṇī of Śūraṅgama" (Lengyan Zhou), hoping for the Buddha's power and blessings. I also talked to my mental faculty (manas): "No matter how much you oppose it, I can't go back to the way I was before, exhausting myself running after worldly dharmas. Both you and I should understand that is a path of no return. If the situation doesn't improve soon, I'll have to start fasting. The taste of hunger is not pleasant." When afflictions arise, I reconcile with myself and others, reminding myself that we are all ordinary beings, prone to selfishness and mistakes, so there's no need for blame. I examine myself to see if anger (dveṣa) is obstructing the path. I wonder if fellow practitioners (shixiong) have experienced similar situations and have any good remedies?

Commentary: This phenomenon occurs when the energy channels (qi and meridians) reach the legs and begin to adjust them. Because the legs have heavy dampness, it affects meditation. Progress and regression in meditation are normal phenomena; once the energy channels clear through, it will be fine. Combining TCM methods can speed up the adjustment process. Visualization methods can also be used.

Focusing effort on the body is technique (method). Focusing effort on the mind is the path (Dharma). Having technique does not necessarily mean having the path. If one has the path, technique is not a worry. Focusing effort on the mind means correctly recognizing the false and insubstantial nature of one's own and others' five aggregates (skandhas)—suffering, emptiness, impermanence, and non-self. It means correctly understanding the dialectical relationship between cause and effect (karma and vipāka), comprehending the past causes of oneself and others, willingly accepting the subsequent results, ending causes to extinguish results and creating no new calamities. Only then can there be a day of liberation from suffering. If it is not like this, whenever karmic obstacles arise, they will always beat the cultivated techniques back to their original state, exhausting all that was cultivated, returning empty-handed without merit. Since there were causes in the past, how can one avoid receiving the subsequent results? Who can bear the retribution and results for oneself? If the mind does not change, karma does not cease—can the karmic retribution ever be exhausted?

Ruchun: The next night before sleep, I was thinking about karmic obstacles (karmavarana) and how to eliminate karma. Thinking and thinking, I fell asleep. I dreamed I was taking a child to school. Rain started falling from the sky, so I went back to get an umbrella. By the time I brought the umbrella, heavy snow had started falling instead. The snow was very heavy, like popcorn or wood shavings, falling from the sky in strands. The rain and snow formed a puddle on the ground. I thought to myself how icy cold that water must be, but I still ran over barefoot and soaked my feet in the icy water; the water was almost knee-deep. After a while, I saw a red plum tree by the water's edge. Though weighed down by thick snow, I could still see its red petals. I thought it looked very beautiful, so I came out of the water wanting to take a picture, but couldn't find my phone, and then I woke up.

Commentary: This is an imagistic dream. The rain and snow in the dream represent water-dampness. Stepping into the water puddle represents serious dampness in the legs and feet that needs to be eliminated. How to eliminate it? First, one must come out of the water puddle—stop continuing to soak in the water. So, the red plum by the water attracted you over, getting you out of the water puddle. But this isn't the end yet; it's unknown how the karmic obstacle issue would be handled subsequently in the dream. When cultivation reaches a certain stage, the repayment of karmic debts is inevitable.